A PECULIAR DREAM

I had a dream, as Martin Luther King would say. But it wasn't exactly about a fairer world, where everyone was equal, or anything like that.

It happened, as always in dreams, that I thought I was awake. That's why I started to act like every morning before leaving for work: shower and frugal breakfast.

Meanwhile, I was listening to the news on the radio, flipping through the newspaper that had just landed on my doorstep. Then I had the first surprise. Amongst the usual dreadful news, a large advertisement stood out in vivid colour. It said: “DRY PUSSY, THE FEMININE PROTECTION THAT KEEPS YOUR PANTY SHOE SAFE FROM ANY SQUIRT THAT SQUIRTS BETWEEN YOUR LEGS”. Such a text was accompanied by the image of a beautiful woman lying on her back, with her legs wide open. The model maneuvered to put on or take off an intimate press inside which was observed, attached, a feminine napkin. In such a position, the young woman showed a close-up of the most hidden areas of her. I was shocked. Let's not deny that it is a very strange way to start any day.

My surprise was even greater when from the radio, which was broadcasting an advertising session, a manly and strident voice warned: “THE COMPLEXES WITH THE SIZE ARE OVER! TRY THE NEW ALARGEITOR PLUS, AND YOU WILL HAVE A THING LIKE PEOPLE, AND NOT THAT RIDICULOUS PEANUT THAT MAKES YOU SO EMBARRASSED! THE MOST SUCCESSFUL DEVICE IN EUROPEAN PORNOSHOPS, FINALLY AMONG US! FREE SALE IN KIOSKS, PHARMACIES AND HARDWARE STORES”.

It was unheard of. He couldn't believe what he saw and heard. Supposing to hallucinate, I pushed the newspaper away from me, turned off the radio, and grabbed the remote for the TV, turning it on immediately. The day before, he had been tuned into one of the open channels that early in the morning only broadcast lengthy “informercials” of a different nature. No more than, generally, demonstrations of some kitchen items or gym equipment. That's where they were, with the difference that this time a man and a woman were talking about the benefits of a set of sex toys that was sold by mail. I was transfixed by hearing dialogues like:

-“John…I think that this wonderful vibrator made entirely with hypoallergenic materials of the latest generation cannot leave any woman unsatisfied, no matter how hot it is…ha! ha, ha!” she said, as she took a huge artificial phallus in her hands and showed it to the cameras.

-“That's right, Betty… If we continue looking at this spectacular collection of articles for the sexual entertainment of the whole family, we see that this perfect false vagina. It is made of maximum flexibility polyurethane, it can delight all devotees of oral sex. Now they don't have to wait to conquer a woman or get the approval of their partners to be able to stick their tongues as deep as they want, "he said, showing a strange object with a vaguely round shape and a slit in the middle.

– “And it will also give them an enviable training in the noble art of using the language, not only to say stupid things. All women enjoy like pigs when they lick us there. We will know how to duly appreciate whoever has trained with this wonderful product.” – answered the girl.

"Oh, look what we have here! A beautiful pair of very fine leather designed for role changes, provided with a huge prosthesis that simulates a perfect penis down to the smallest details. In addition, it has a similar accessory, but with an adjustable size inside, so that both can enjoy. It is ideal for those couples in which both like to receive equally. I think I'll take this home, and maybe tonight my wife and I will try it... Ha, ha, ha!” - Said the boy, exhibiting an artifact whose existence I was completely unaware of until that oneiric moment.

-“I'm not surprised, John… we all know how you like to be fucked in the stern. I, on the other hand, am going to opt for this beautiful double dildo, perfect for the hot encounters we have with my best friend. With him, we can both satisfy each other at the same time, without those annoying alternations, where one is active and the other is passive. It's great!” - she almost shouted, holding an artificial member that would measure, easily, a meter, with a huge glans at each end.

-“Therefore, friends, nothing better than this “Hard Sex Kit”! And everyone can enjoy in their own home just by calling the phone numbers that you will see on the screen below. Remember: if you call in the next 30 minutes, we will send you absolutely free two bottles of the sensational OPEN ALL dilating cream, whose exclusive and totally natural formula will make no sphincter resist it” - the man concluded, looking at the camera.

Immediately, both closed the speech with a resounding "CALL NOW, AND START ENJOYING IMMEDIATELY!". I began to see a long succession of phone numbers from different countries, each with a little flag next to it.

It was too much for me. I slumped into a chair, my breathing ragged and my pulse racing. “WHAT WAS HAPPENING???!!!” I yelled to myself. I verified that it was not a channel dedicated to pornography. Although I was not subscribed to that type of services.

It took me at least ten minutes to get moving again, and it was to go to the mailbox at home. I was wanting to find something that would give me a little rationality to cling to on that very rare morning. It was crammed with envelopes and brochures of various sizes; I opened it and took those papers, returning immediately to see what all the correspondence was about.

I spread everything out on the dining room table, and began to examine each piece. A large brochure on glossy paper told me about an unmissable offer: fifteen days of vacation in the Caribbean, more precisely on "LA ISLA DE LOS TRANSVESTIS"! It showed a place clearly infested with “trans” people, who were displayed completely naked, in all kinds of lewd positions and highly aroused in the multiple photos in the brochure. I couldn't help but smile when I read something like: "Satisfaction guaranteed!" "We assure you that when you get out of there you will not be able to sit down for three days, or your money back!"

As incredible as that seemed to me to be a magazine that mixed what would be more or less traditional pornography with entertainment and political gossip. It had titles such as: “ARGENTINES SWEEP IN THE 'INTERNATIONAL ORGY AWARDS' NOMINATIONS FOR THE BEST ORGIES IN THE WORLD”. It was illustrated with images of intense sexual encounters with people naked and inexplicably entangled with each other.

Another notable headline was: “FREE! ONLY FOR PET LOVERS; FIRST DELIVERY OF THE ZOOFILIA COURSE FOR BEGINNERS. ALL THE SECRETS OF ANIMAL SEX AT YOUR FINGERTIPS!

In an attack of indignation and bewildered astonishment, I threw away all that printed crap, which ended up next to the newspaper where I found the first abnormality. I immediately unplugged the radio and television with violent jerks, as if believing in my dream that in this way I would not receive such disturbing messages again.

NIGHTMARE AT THE DOOR

Still agitated, and without understanding anything of what was happening, I heard the doorbell ring. Flustered, I opened the door. I found an imposing woman, much taller than me and with marked muscles, barely covered by a tiny black leather dress. Adorned with a profusion of studs and buckles, full of strategic openings, it revealed all her private parts. She had a strange mask that gave her a decidedly diabolical appearance, and with a sinister five-pronged whip in her right hand.

- "Hello, worm. I come to give you your daily dose of whipping and mistreatment, because you can't live without being beaten, right? ”- He said with you manly, while he advanced towards me, brandishing the whip with a threatening gesture.

-"I...no...Who are you and what do you want?...Get out of my house right now!"- I managed to say, terrified.

-“Shut up, slop!…and be thankful that I keep coming, because your damn social work hasn't paid for sadomasochism practices at home for two months. They believe that one was perfected for so many years to work for free! Let's start once and for all, I still have three more clients to visit… ”-she said, while giving me a fierce whiplash across the face, which made me fall to my knees.

Everything ended there. Fortunately, that excruciating nightmare, the weirdest thing I've ever had in my life, ended at that precise moment. I woke up on the floor, after falling out of bed and hitting my right cheekbone on the edge of the nightstand. Obviously, I thought that was the lash that the "dominatrix" of my reverie had given me.

HAPPY ENDING?

Battered, I sat up as best I could, and tried to situate myself back in reality. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, and I had decided to take a nap at home. I was coming back from a meal with friends that was too well stocked and watered down. And so it was that I dreamed those monstrosities.

As the last images of the ominous dream faded in my head, I couldn't help but rejoice that real life was so different. Some modesty still remained, and there will always be things that people prefer to hide. Whether for a minimum of good taste and modesty, or for fear of social condemnation or judicial punishment.

I showered quickly. Already awake, I decided to kill time watching television, for lack of anything better. I turned on the device and tuned it to my favorite channel, “Sudamérica Televisión”. They were broadcasting one of the most talked-about programs: “Confesate with Brigitte”, hosted by former star Brigitte Ordóñez.

The topic of that day was quite interesting: “My daughter is a polysexual fetishist nymphomaniac”. A distraught woman was telling the host, the 200-strong studio audience, and all the viewers the story of her daughter. She was a teenager who was sitting next to her with a nonchalant gesture.

Apparently, the girl was a machine for fornicating with everyone who came across her, in addition to possessing an appreciable collection of fetish sexual. Her mother had brought them in a large box and was displaying them to the camera without any qualms, obviously filled with indignation. She impressed an old bottle of champagne that along its neck showed inlays of different abrasive materials, such as glued sandpaper, sand glued to the glass and wire rings.

As the woman spoke, the young woman showed signs of suppressed annoyance. And the culminating moment occurred. Her mother recounted that, shortly after her 15th birthday, her daughter had to be hospitalized urgently in order to extract a large wrench that she had inserted into the depths of her anatomy. She couldn't get it off herself without sexually mutilating herself.

There the girl stood up and began to scream, saying that it was her mother who had taught her these things. From a very young age, she gave him dolls to which she added enormous sexual organs made of rags or clay.

Furious, the woman got up and gave her daughter a resounding slap. The girl returned the aggression with a spit in the face. And from there everything was chaos. The driver had to intervene so that both women did not hit each other with the chairs that they were already brandishing as throwing objects.

Immediately, the advertising session began, while I continued congratulating myself on having returned to the placid and pleasant reality after a dream as scatological and unpleasant as the one I had had a while before.